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Doesn’t the concept of a safeword defeat the purpose of BDSM?

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I don’t get it. Personally, I crave dangerous stuff and I like to feel pain and experience danger. But I don’t really care for BDSM. BDSM is supposed to be risky and dangerous, painful, hardcore sex. If everyone involved just follows a set of rules and as soon as things get painful or dangerous they quit, it kind of makes it pointless, doesn’t it?

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  1. No, absolutely not. In fact, consent and safewords (or other protective mechanisms, such as gestures or signs) are an absolute must in any serious BDSM relationship, scene or activity. Without consent, BDSM would just be abuse. The partners involved in BDSM lifestyle or in an individual act first have to create a bond of trust between then and to clearly establish the boundaries. With experienced partners, this doesn’t have to involve much talking and explanation, but for novices and new partners, it is absolutely necessary. A safeword or a similar signal is established and when it is used, all the actions absolutely need to stop. Thanks to this concept, BDSM allows people to push the boundaries of their sexuality, explore their desires, the sexual dynamic with their partner and surrender part of the control to another person. For many people, this is an incredibly exciting and erotic concept, and that is, in fact, the purpose of BDSM.

    joseph - Dec 29, 2016 | Reply


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