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5 Answers

When you have a sub, do you own them like a slave?

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5 Answers

  1. There is actually a lot of difference between a sub and a slave. According to some BDSM practitioners, a sub is more “free” than a slave, in the sense she or he has a right to set some limits and rules, while that right is negated to a slave. Also, it is often said that you “own” a sub but you “possess” a slave. When you have a slave, he or she is your property at all times, while with a sub you usually schedule an appointment or a play and then enact your fantasies. After that, the sub is completely free to do whatever she or he wants. The relationship between a dom and a sub is, therefore, less interested in ownership than a master/slave one.

    Anne - Dec 29, 2016 | Reply

  2. No. That is the main difference between a submissive and a slave. Those are two entirely different concepts and two different types of BDSM relationships. A submissive is paired with a dominant while a slave is paired with a master. A dom, well, dominates the sub, and the master owns the slave. Usually, the sub gets to go home after the session is over, while slaves often live with their masters. There are other differences too that underline the fact that only a slave is owned: for example, a sub has a safe word that can be used to stop the play or the session whenever they want, and the slave has given up the consent the moment she or he agreed to be owned. When you own something, it has no free will and it is yours to dispose of any way you see fit.

    rajesh - Dec 29, 2016 | Reply

  3. No, no, no. Ownership is a thing in master-slave relationships. Domination is something completely different. So, if you are a dom and you have a submissive partner, you do not own him or her. That’s not what domination is about.

    tessa578 - Dec 29, 2016 | Reply

  4. It may seem like you own your submissive partner, because there are some similarities in ways a sub and a slave are treated. However, what lies in the core of a dom/sub relationship is the exchange of power and a shift of control. With slaves, its really about being owned like a pet or an object. Like a lamp. A lamp doesn’t have any say in anything. So if your dom is acting like he or she owns you, bosses you around and makes you ask for permission to do basic, non-sexual stuff, it’s time to reexamine your relationship and re-set the rules.

    manny85 - Dec 29, 2016 | Reply

  5. You do not. Do not treat your submissive partner like a slave. You could ruin everything.

    joseph - Dec 29, 2016 | Reply

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